Eau de Tool Shed, Gluing Kids Teeth & Transformative Energy Drinks

I swear the titles of these STQR blogs get more and more messed up every month. Here’s a selection of the most weird and wonderful searches found across the Mabo client list in May.

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The Mabo Search Term Query Report for May by Matthew Soakell

Whether you think this is genius or idiotic, you’ve got to appreciate the complexity of the search, and equally the results wanted from it. The search term comes from the events and parties industry, so I totally expect the next search term was ‘piñata you can hit that turns you into donkey’.

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The Mabo Search Term Query Report for May by Matthew Soakell

I feel like this was more of a snippet of a conversation between John, 63, and Maureen, 60, from the garden of their lovely detached bungalow in Wensleydale. Either that or it was definitely a voice search. The industry this stems from is a little surprising, though; not gardening but in-fact logistics.

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The Mabo Search Term Query Report for May by Matthew Soakell

So. Many. Questions!
Firstly, is it a baby tooth? If so, leave it, whack it under the pillow and see what the tooth fairy provides. Secondly, where are you wanting to glue it? Thirdly, what caused it to fall out? Finally, I don’t know about you, but a dentist would be the first thing I’d consult before Google on all things teeth. Weird. The industry: cosmetics.

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The Mabo Search Term Query Report for May by Matthew Soakell

I’m not sure whether this search term is a bit pervy or just showing general interest in cycling – which is the industry this one comes from, unsurprisingly. The Tour de France starts in a month; watch that and find out…

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The Mabo Search Term Query Report for May by Matthew Soakell

This screams of Joey Tribbiani. To quote Chandler, “Joey is the kind of guy you ask advice for when you want toppings on your pizza or if you have a burning sensation when you pee.” The account this comes from is the pharmaceutical industry and it sounds like this dude should go to a pharmacy.

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The Mabo Search Term Query Report for May by Matthew Soakell

*Immediately Google’s world’s largest head*. I really don’t know what to say here… I can tell you that it comes from the biking scene as you might’ve guessed, and that that’s not how you spell motorbike, but apart from that, I’m out.

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The Mabo Search Term Query Report for May by Matthew Soakell

If you’re advised to evacuate then do so immediately. Wear protective clothing. Lock your home. Tell someone you left and where you are going. Choose a safe route away from fire hazards. Watch for changes in the speed and direction of fire and smoke. No for reals, dems the instructions. The account industry is clothing.

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The Mabo Search Term Query Report for May by Matthew Soakell

So I’ve been informed in the past that Subway have air freshener-like things that pump that Subway smell out outside their store fronts in order to entice you in. Now, whether or not this is true or not is another thing, but I sort of get the feeling that this could be a small business wanting to do likewise… you’re walking down the high street looking for some DIY and you sniff out Timmy’s Tool Store – literally. Okay, so maybe not, but if you can buy tool shed scented canisters, that’s strange. That said, this did appear in an account in the gift industry, so maybe this is a thing – an ideal Father’s Day present!

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And now, for anyone wondering what happens to all these search terms, the disclaimer: all our accounts go through rigorous checks and relevancy examination when it comes to the search term query reports. Any search that is deemed irrelevant is excluded in order to cut spend on wasted traffic. So rest assured, all of these search terms will have been dealt with appropriately!

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